I CAN MOONWALK!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
