i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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