we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
