ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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