Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
