i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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