the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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