you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
