Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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