Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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