We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
