They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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