im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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