I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
