I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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