Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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