I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
