at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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