I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize