please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
