I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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