can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
