It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
