If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize