New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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