It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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