He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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