check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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