Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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