I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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