I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
