hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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