so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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