You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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