Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
