shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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