My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
