She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
