there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
