fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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