so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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