U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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