what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
