does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
