I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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