Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
