Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
