Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
