Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My vagina is officially offended.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
