Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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