I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
