Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
