Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
