Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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