In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
