I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
