Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
