3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
