I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
