Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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