Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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